This is a list of phrases and events that've been famous or popular throughout #banjo-kazooie's history. When you have a chatroom that's existed for three-quarters of a decade, injokes and stuff kind of pile up, so some explanations are sometimes in order. This is most of the most important phrases in the chatroom's history, split into sections and roughly chronological. About half of the explanations were written by me (TNG), with most of the older entries being written by bhlaab and a couple others being written by Yumblie.
So, let's get things started.
These phrases were more important in the early days of the chatroom
and have in a lot of cases mostly fallen out of use. They still were
were still pretty important in the development of the chatroom and very
occasionally get brought up so they're still worth mentioning.
I love the blue egg!
This one dates back to the very beginning of the YBK. In Banjo-Kazooie, there are 3 secrets hidden away: A pink egg, an ice key, and a blue egg. Whereas the pink egg and ice key are in really interesting locations that people wanted desperately to get to, the blue egg was just kind of sitting there in a room feeling lonely and unloved. Yumblie and bhlaab changed all that with this message to the heavens!?
Cya all later, I was using Lozzascript v.1.1!!!
Devin, a spunky young go-getter who everyone hated because he wouldn't shut up about stupid crap, had a quit that said this. Lozza ran a Banjo-Kazooie website, but mysteriously disappeared. Devin became more and more obsessed with this paranormal incident over time.
This is Fred. He is the ASCII resprentation of "some sort of... llama... thing." For a long time he was considered #banjo-kazooie's unofficial mascot, second only to the bot Colliwobble. And while Canjo created him, bhlaab
stole adopted him as his own.
Back in the day, Yumblie and Bhlaab spent a fraction of their free time making games in the RMB RPG series with the RPG Maker programs, which eventually reached its end with RMB RPG 3 once the realization was made that it was kind of weird to keep the old RMB Gang concept alive for so long after the actual gang itself had become defunct. At any rate, "whiiiiiiiiirrr... boing!" is the battlestart sound effect for all of these games. It eventually became a common kick message for Kablooie/Schroe, used most frequently on Ness, especially during that hour-long kickfest where he was kicked 100s of times in a row.
Beeeeooooop! Watch your language! Use [replacement] instead!
Back in the day, #banjo-kazooie, believe it or not, used to actually be about the video game Banjo-Kazooie. Being a game that mostly appealed to little kids, not many people would swear, but since Kablooie/Schroe did have a tendency to, Yumblie, along with setting up a +G filter for the room, set up a remote to kick people at the merest sign of profanity, telling them to say 'darn' or 'frick' the next time they feel angry at the world, largely to keep Schroe in check (at her request). Of course, things are different today. Though #banjo-kazooie held on to +G for an extremely long period of time (at many times being the only room on the network to even have +G), Yumblie eventually removed the remote and filter based on the assumption that most of the chatters are approaching college age at this point and are mature enough to handle swearing. Hilariously, after +G was removed, 11 year old wunderkind SuperKoopa started coming to the room. D'oh!
HTML: I can make pins fly! See? <pins>FLY!!!!!!</pinetree>'
In a Cork Board post where schnorks said a bunch of nothing, this particular line stuck out to many.
I am NOT an underwater creature
schnorks's nickname bears a pretty uncanny resemblance to The Snorks, which was a lame Hanna-Barbera Smurfs ripoff set underneath the ocean, leading people to think that schnorks himself was some sort of underwater creature. Since schnorks has claimed to have never watched this show, he vehemently denied ever having been an underwater creature. A drawing that S. Cargo made on the Cork Board several years ago depicting schnorks as being a green creature with mottled skin and a long trunk just ended up confusing matters even further, and the catchphrase has somehow survived even to this day, though not referred to much anymore since nobody really thinks of any of the chatters as being characters anymore.
#bk was +G almost as long as the mode existed (though as mentioned earlier, it's not +G anymore). The words it censored changed over time. Early on, there was a slight glitch in the censor list, and " the words" (with the space) became censored, so if you were to say "I like saying the words" it would come out as "I like saying<censored>." It baffled us for quite a while before we caught on to what was going on.
Ettin getting hit by a car
Ettin once tried to convince everybody that he was killed when he was hit by a car. He never actually was, and we're all still a little bit bitter over it.
I want your hat!!
Yumblie and Bhlaab dreamed up ways to make Zelda: The Ocarina of Time better one night a long time ago, and what was devised was a game where at some point in Kakariko Village, a baddie would jump out of a window at random and shout "I WANT YOUR HAT!" and ultimately kill Link, while Navi gives helpful advice such as "He wants your hat!" our ideas grew and grew into a game where Link travels around a world made entirely of windows, where the same event would happen at every turn.
Catch-22 Available At Barnes And Noble For $9.90 Day
cobra929, who used to come around the chat a lot, was very excited about being able to purchase Catch-22 at Barnes and Noble for $9.90 the next day. Everyone else in the chatroom at the time felt like celebrating this prestigious day by declaring it a holiday. Thus, Catch-22 Available At Barnes And Noble For $9.90 Day was born.
Any Grunty Fans Here?
This came about because of some random person who kept coming into the chatroom and asking "Any Grunty fans in here?" Eventually Yumblie got sick of it and drew a picture in response, illustrated here. It just caught on for no reason in particular.
Oh, God, here we go. Link is a retarded "hacker" who "hacked" into the YBK... Well, okay, he opened up the directories and looked around and then called it hacking, but still. He is also notorious for stealing site design and even content from the YBK, and infamous for posing as X Woolfe while supporting some stupid petition to get Rareware to divulge how to get the Banjo-Kazooie secrets that was an inevitable failure. As this persona, he spouted off "dark and mysterious" lines such as "Yumblie must die. The petition must live" and "Who'se afraid of Virginia Woolfe?" both of which he probably thought were really rad at the time. He's tried to come back under different names a multitude of times, most recently under the name 'Elisk', though "Elisk" denies any connection after he was busted 5 seconds after the first time he joined the chat. While he wears many hats, we will always remember Link as the hacker that makes Something Awful's Jeff K character look like a threat to the free world.
It's 6.01's fault!
On the day mIRC version 6.01 was released, lots of other unrelated things seemed to go wrong. We rationally blamed them all on the new version of mIRC.
BEWARE THE RED LION
schnorks invented this one day out of absolutely nowhere, like most of the phrases he came up with. The RED LION's arch nemesis is the Multicolored Seagull, which Yumblie invented, but schnorks insists does not exist.
These days, schnorks actually thinks that its creation may not have been so random, after he discovered that the Red Lion is the most common British pub name, but that kind of takes away some of the magic.
Oh no, chemicals!
Schnorks invented this as well, and came about in a way pretty similar to "Beware the RED LION". It was first used in a wacky conversation with some random person on AIM to confuse him.
schnorks has actually recently said that this phrase's creation wasn't completely random, saying it was loosely based on an incident Schroe recalled about her street being closed down due to a chemical spill, along with a Chris_A-set #rarebrit topic involving deadly fumes in the air.
I am the Ultimate BK-T Survivor!
Jono used to say this for quite a long time. According to him, this all supposedly started when he came into the chatroom once and it was deserted due to a netsplit, but who knows. At any rate, the phrase stuck around and often gets mentioned whenever Jono makes a reappearance, which is very infrequently. Spacecow used to hate Jono a lot, but it's doubtful that he's still feeling any resentment toward him at this point.
Hey... is for horses!
Devin would always come into the chatroom with the greeting "hey", to which we would respond "...is for horses". DJ even made a remote for it. After a while we all realized how stupid this was, and for the longest time it was a bannable phrase. Then everyone realized that nobody was really saying it anymore and it was becoming more irritating to have it as a bannable phrase, so now it's not. Oh how fickle chat can be.
The Catalog Industry is EXPLODING!
This was the subject of a spam email Yumblie got one day. Heed it's message and get into the catalog industry, because it is EXPLODING! Did you hear that? EXPLODING!! Another similiar message received said "EXPLODE your business by accepting credit cards!"
I AM KIND TO SNAKE
In the peta.com "Kidz Art!" section (which sadly doesn't exist anymore), PETA called on several children with downs syndrome to create propaganda for them. Unfortunately, this resulted in several promotional slogans as "YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO BE BEATEN WOULD YOU?!?!" and "I AM KIND TO SNAKE" There's another picture there by the most awesome kid in the world that we all assume is about a pirate rescuing animals from an evil genie or something.
Climb Down the Cliff Wall
There's not much story behind this one. There's a text adventure game named Zork out there where at some point during the game you are confronted by a cliff you must climb down. Nothing seemed to work at first. "Climb down cliff", "go down cliff", "climb down"... none seemed to work. However, it turned out that the incredibly obvious answer was "Climb down the cliff wall". We all felt really stupid after that one, boy howdy.
Toadsworth from Super Mario Sunshine has a tendency to say this, which amused everyone so much that it became a catcphrase for a while. It's funny if you hear it, I swear.
The Priest Transforms Into Ganon
On the Zelda: Link to the Past original soundtrack CD, one of the tracks is listed as "The Priest Transforms Into Ganon" which is odd, because that never actually happened in the game.
Ettin Ettin Ettin Ettin Ettin Ettin Ettin Ettin Ettin Ettin Ettin Ettin Ettin Ettin
Ettin lives in Austalia, so he is usually the only one here late at night, while Yumblie, being in the Pacific timezone, is one of the last ones to leave. So Yumblie would often try to set off Ettin's highlight and quit before Ettin could angrily retort something along the lines of "Grr! What you just did hurt me emotionally!" Yumblie would then laugh himself to sleep. Those crazy kids! Good times.
STALE QUIT ALERT
Quit messages can be amusing, but more often than not, if you keep the same one for a while it gets old. Some people have theirs for months and months, and eventually it prompted people to yell the phrase to the left. The problem was that we would yell it after they quit, so they wouldn't hear it. Since most people stay connected to IRC 24/7 these days or don't even bother to use a quit message, this kind of fell out of use.
First ____ of the Chinese New Year!
When the Chinese New Year rolled around, everybody scrambled to do The First Anything of the Chinese New Year. There was the first /me command of the Chinese New Year, the first topic of the Chinese New Year, and so on. Eventually, everyone realized that this was pretty stupid and the phrase died.
F-Zero: Banana Porcupine Truck
This was before F-Zero GX had a solid title, so we decided to give it one of our own. "Banana Porcupine Truck", along with a picture which disappeared from the internet when Yumblie's old hosting at Lycanthrope mysteriously died. The link for the image can be found here, but it doesn't actually go anywhere.
MewMewtwo45 had an alias that would list how long until various events, such as E3, but also "events" such as when he got out of school. He would routinely flood the chat with events that no one really cared about so we retaliated with our own inane event countdowns. MMT has now mostly abandoned this remote, but he still more-or-less serves as the chatroom's unofficial news ticker.
Typhlosion, an extremely annoying person (moreso than Ness!) used to frequent the chatroom and say that stupid god damn smiley all the time. As every other line. Eventually we made it so that people were automatically bankicked whenever the emoticon was uttered... until we just decided to kick Typhlosion out altogether. Typhlosion is still not welcome to this day.
Da Breegster, from www.dabreegster.com, would often come into the chat and announce that he, Da breegster from www.dabreegster.com, was in fact Da Breegster from www.dabreegster.com
This is what Bluejinjo used to say whenever he left the chat room, to the point where it was usually the only thing he ever said, so we celebrated it.
Grumblie never says anything
Longtime #banjo-kazooie chatter Grumblie, over time, started to talk less and less frequently in the chatroom at large, eventually never saying anything at all over the course of a few years. Naturally, people made a big deal out of this so the image of Grumblie as some sort of mute entered the chat consciousness, even though he started recently talking again.
B3 will be on N64, Bonebrains!!
BK was a user who only came into the chat to shout about how the third Banjo game would be on the Nintendo 64. Sure, it sounds kind of lame to make fun of him just for that, but he would often use G-Rated curse words without even being provoked, so it was fun to egg him on. Jeff, then known as Canard, was able to convince him that he was an employee of Rareware, which led to some pretty amusing discussions. Though BK stopped coming to the chatroom years and years ago, he was so memorable that he still lives on in the minds of chatters, partially because of Spacecow's !bk remote.
For more BK quotes, go here:
HALLOWEEN IS COMING!
This phrase is commonly used when, well, Halloween is coming. It's derived from this odd ritual where Yumblie would op himself after a netsplit, which would be followed by Yumblie and schnorks going crazy, applauding and bowing, and eventually degrading into complete nothingness. It spurred the creation of many other similiar phrases about different holidays and other events that were coming, each with their own color combinations.
A long time ago, Canjo had an odd dream that he related to the chat at large. In this dream, Canjo went to jail for a few years for some reason. Upon coming back, he discovered that #banjo-kazooie had turned into #plankton. Since then, chatters have taken this as some sort of prophesy as to the future of the room, though this switchover hasn't happened yet.
The final boss is Bowser!
This kind of thing is in mockery of the idea of spoilers. The entire point is to have stupid things like "I heard that in the next Zelda game [spoilertag]Link is the hero!!![/spoilertag]" which is usually hilarious when we're incredibly bored. Of course, Ness is notorious for being a retard and actually putting real spoilers in there at a time when we're all joking around like this. The example to the left is Ness ruining Super Mario Sunshine for everybody!
Hey guess whaaaaAAAAAAAAUUUGHHH my brains
This was a movie Jeff came up with and Spacecow developed named "Mr. Bouncy Kitten". It went like this:
"Just some guy dressed as an over-the-top comedian walks onto a stage and shout 'HEY, GUESS WHA-' and then screams for a minute straight as his face gradually contorts into a terrible grimace until he finishes with 'AAAAUGH MY BRAINS' and he collapses, and the credits roll. It would be called 'The Fun Adventures of Mr. Bouncy Kitten' and the previews would be all happy and cartoony, so all the kids would want to go see it. And then they are scarred for life and end up listening to terribly goth music. And when they go insane later in life there will be institutions everywhere with people raving about MR. BOUNCY KITTEN."
Like most phrases on this list, there's no excuse for this one except that we're all dumb and find the weirdest things funny.
I AM PETER MOORE! I AM MICROSOFT BUDDY, YES INDEED! HELLO.
When it was announced that Peter Moore was moving from Sega to Microsoft, several of us in #banjo-kazooie suspected foul play. It was obviously just some sort of ruse to get a robotic Peter Moore to infiltrate the company and cause havoc by bumping into things, vomiting candy, and blocking off the bathrooms. And all he would ever say was his war cry: "I AM PETER MOORE! I AM MICROSOFT BUDDY, YES INDEED! HELLO." The phrase was popular enough to the point where Yumblie even made a short game based on it. Sadly, this catchphrase has fallen slightly out of use after Peter Moore decided that he was going to be EA's buddy instead.
BKRPG will never be completed!!!!
Ettin and Jeff one day decided to make an RPG based on the chat room. Years later it's made next to no progress, and schnorks is the head of a movement to make sure that the game is never completed. Since Jeff and Ettin have officially given up on the project, it seems like schnorks's prediction will remain true.
TheNintenGenius suddenly started saying this over and over in the middle of a conversation, couldn't figure out why, and could only stop by making himself leave the channel. Despite its randomness, it was surprisingly well-timed in the conversation.
One of the biggest typo epidemics in the history of grammar is misusing "your" and "you're." Whenever someone makes this mistake, Jeff makes sure to let them know. One of these exchanges was eventually immortalized in a sound file created by Yumblie, found here.
i make part of the story and you write the other half ok Story: One
day mumbo was going by and then he said me going to kill bear and bird
banjo: what did you say mumbo? mumbo: me said shut your fat mouth
Yumblie was emailed this message one day from some deeply disturbed person. The untold side of the story is, however, that the person who wrote this actually went on to write some bestselling novels in the mystery drama genre. Well, not really, but that would be cool.
Tammy384, No more run around to fill your medication!lpnalrytziz blaqgoonctw jzb q d tnhiz e zmthzv avzz tdwzoi
This is another spam email Yumblie got. I'm not sure how anybody expected to attract customers with it, but you have to admit, it's catchy!
Intrestingly, during an Acrophobia session ages ago, someone claiming to be tammy384 entered the room and was immediately hailed as a savior by the chatters present.
schnorks came up with the idea of a remote consisting of an arbitary set of letters that would constantly be changing, making triggering the remote a once-in-a-lifetime event to be celebrated and cherished forever. Yumblie decided to take schnorks's idea except he never actually changed the letter combination he used as the remote trigger. This irritates schnorks to no end.
Don't care going to bed
bhlaab had just seen a corny 80's movie and wanted to discuss its hilarious corny 80's-ness with the world. Unfortunately, Jeff was the only one in the world at the time, and he responded saying he didn't care and was going to bed, which offended bhlaab. In retaliation, "Don't care going to bed" became popular as a snooty way to say "Fuck you, Jeff".
The beginning of one of the weirdest and most long-running chat-related jokes ever. It's really hard to explain, so it's probably best to just read this log.
no. bugs. eat bugs.
Near the end of the first QUACKIN ZEDUCK conversation, a weird exchange took place between schnorks and SergeantJamJars where schnorks told SJJ to eat bugs and SJJ kept humorously misinterpreting him. Since the phrase "no. bugs. eat bugs" has a great ring to it, it's stuck around.
Is it November?
Canjo discovered a website that let everyone know, quite conveniently, exactly how long it was going to be until the month of November arrived. People thought this was highly amusing and it became something of an intermittent catchphrase. Unfortunately, the website finally died as of November 2007, leaving the future of this phrase in doubt.
Olmec is six inches tall / NO HE'S NOT
One fateful day, #banjo-kazooie became embroiled in a fierce debate concerning the size of Olmec on the old Nickelodeon TV series Legends of the Hidden Temple, with bhlaab insisting that the talking Olmec face had to be a miniature edited in via camera trickery and everyone else insisting otherwise. To date, this is still simultateously the most heated and most pathetic debate the chatroom has ever been involved in.
Epona, Epona, so bunny oy vey. Junta Lee's day unibrow, service she to wonka now
Canjo came up with his own interpretation of the lyrics to the first few lines of a Japanese version of Epona's Song from Ocarina of Time. Though not too well-remembered, it's pretty funny.
Esgar chicory in a bell, havin' tea. SIMPLY NUTS
Not to be outdone, Jeff decided that he was going to give his interpretation as to what singers during the chorus of FF7's "One Winged Angel" were actually saying, with great results.
Work, kittens, RE4
For a period of a couple months, Jeff seemed to be unable to talk about anything that wasn't either his job at Linens 'n Things or Resident Evil 4, which had just come out for Gamecube. Since Jeff also likes to bring up kittens a lot for some reason, "Work, kittens, RE4" became a really easy way to summarize Jeff in a nutshell. Of course, Jeff's long since stopped working at Linens 'n Things and hasn't played RE4 in years, but that doesn't stop anybody.
Q: Who shot Abraham Lincoln? A: Abraham Lincoln's hat
Back when MewMewtwo45 first created the !rqra remote (which slaps together a random question and random answer from user-submitted entries), people abused the thing like crazy and tons of different questions and answers got submitted. One night, this combination came up entirely by coincidence and was deemed so hilarious that people still bring it up years later.
But you must pay a price on flesh... (dark music)
For a while, #banjo-kazooie was visited by Argentenian chatter boo_penguin, whose poor grasp of English and general personality were amusing for a while until he was finally banned when everyone got sick of him. boo claimed he believed in UFOs and the Loch Ness Monster and claimed that he had even captured the Loch Ness Monster but in order to see the proof you'd have to pay this most horrible of prices.
Comics based on this phrase (and a couple of his other sayings) can be found here, here, and also here.
NO. ARGH. NO.
When Kazooie64 gets mad, she'll often say one or the other of these things, sometimes alternating between the two in close succession. Since it's fun to make fun of people when they're angry, people caught onto this.
GIANT. FLAMING. VAGINERS.
For a while, #banjo-kazooie was plagued by luigifan500, a kid with a penchant for making horrible flash movies and possessing a really irritating personality. One day, entirely at random, luigifan500 said "GIANT. FLAMING. VAGINERS" and claimed that it was going to become a hot new catchphrase. It kind of has, though maybe not quite in the way he'd want it since it's usually invoked to mention just how retarded luigifan was.
TA HELL WIT DAT!!!
Speaking of luigifan500's flash animations, this phrase comes from the flash animation in particular that he felt the need to spam across Dorksnet. The animation in general is so inept and horrible as to be absolutely hilarious. You can find it here.
the FAG SYSTEM for GAY BABIES
Back before anyone knew what the name of Nintendo's next console was going to be, rumors ran rampant. This led to an interesting conversation about how idiot video game fanboys often come up with for rival systems, like the Nintendo GAYcube or the Sony GAYstation or the SUX-COX or retarded things like that. Jeff decided that Nintendo should make their next console impervious to such dumb nicknames by just naming it the FAG SYSTEM for GAY BABIES. Of course, Nintendo ended up naming the system the Wii, making it an obvious target for extremely dumb jokes.
YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF MUTHERFUCKING COW WHORES
Iris375 was a completely irritating and horrible compulsive liar who frequented the chat for a while and would regale us all with tales of being accosted by thugs, living in Chicago, and all sorts of other things that were completely untrue. Even the claim that Iris was female turned out to be untrue in the end. At any rate, at one point, frustrated at how nobody was playing along with him, he said this particularly memorable phrase.
<Iris375> How many times do you fuck your mama? Hmmmmmmm.....Every single night MotherFuckin Son of a Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you still need to fuck yourself!
From another time in which Iris lost his temper. He certainly had a way with words when he was angry.
I got the Wii with the SSBB game. AND I got a few thousand dollars...
During one of Iris's nonstop lying sessions, Iris claimed that he had been assaulted by a middle-aged man in a Wal-Mart over the fact that there was only one Wii left in the store and Iris got to it first. Given that Iris, at this point, was claiming to be a girl in her early teens, this already started to seem unlikely, but he then decided to push things even further by claiming that the police had beaten up the guy and given her the fine money over the incident for no real reason, then claimed they got Super Smash Bros. Brawl (which, at that point, still wasn't coming out for over a year) . To date, it remains the pinnacle of Iris's complete bullshit.
As #banjo-kazooie has grown older, things have changed somewhat. We're wiser, more worldly, and some of us are old enough to drink alcohol. schnorks has fallen into the habit of saying "guys" just by itself when gets on IRC when inebriated and it's kind of stuck around, being adopted by some chatters and parodied by others. Of course, it's dumb to chat on IRC when drunk anyway, so don't.
Of course, if you want a more brief explanation of Ness, there's always this comic that Jeff drew.
Ness is 9 years old
Ness first came to the chat as kyle9999 when he was 9 years old. Now, several years later, he is still 9 years old. No matter how old Ness claims to be, Ness will always be 9 years old. That's that.
hi kyle9999 kyle9999
This is just one of many greeting remotes that were part of a whole trend back in fall of 2000. When one entered the channel they had to brace themselves for an onslaught of automated greeting messages from various people. The inept example on the left is a particularly amusing one that for some reason kyle failed to fix for a while (he would greet himself even if he himself was just entering the chat).
Indian Anna Jones
When Ness wasn't talking about how much he loved Disney to pieces, he did occasionally have opinions about other movies. For some reason, Ness didn't care for the Indiana Jones films and came up with this nickname for Jones which was probably meant to be all disparaging and mean but just came across as hilarious and adorable instead.
<Ness> It hurt when I stapled it to my butt :(
<Ness> Like a themometer was going up it
Regarded as one of the most bizarre chat excerpts of all time.
<Ness[RPGMAKER]> I would they put Japanese games in American stores?
Ness said this as well, most likely asking about the reasoning behind putting import games on US store shelves. In the process of regular-speak-to-Ness-speak translation, however, things got somewhat...jumbled? The result sounded so bizarre that it became slightly famous on a chatroom-about-a-video-game level.
* Ness dodges
Ness is the person in #banjo-kazooie that everybody hates because of his rampant idiocy and odd fascination with puppies and Disneyland. When attacked by any weapon, even undodgeable heat-seeking missiles, Ness is always able to dodge the attack. His cute puppy also shares this mysterious power. This became so well-known that Jeff parodied it in The Fun Game 4.
I can type without kiijung
Said once by Ness when people were bragging about their touch-typing skills. I think he needed a bit of work on that.
* Ness collects pubes
During one particularly memorable conversation, Ness, for no real reason, decided to ask the chat at large what pubes were. Someone facetiously responded by saying they were sea creatures, leading to the bizarre line on the left. To this day, nobody's really sure if Ness was pranking us in this instance or if he really WAS that naive.
* Ness has orgasm when he goes to Disneyland
Ness just seemed to be an infinite source of humor at his expense. One day, he came in asking the chat at large what an "orgasim" was. After recieving fanciful explanations involving the Orgasim being a particularly high-powered and secret sim from Perfect Dark, it was explained to Ness that an orgasm is "when you feel really happy and great." This, of course, led Ness to say above quote. Poor, poor Ness.
Just like with Ness, here's a comic (drawn by Yumblie) explaining some of what makes DJ tick.
DJ IS A FOOL!!!
It's funny because it's true!
<DJ[watching_movie]> what the bullet is a delayed explosive, the bad man's head exploded in a shower of buses
User DJ was watching a movie, possibly hentai, on his computer and explaining it to the chat room as it went along, like he does with every movie, tv show, video game, or breathing patterns he has. During one particular movie, DJ described this scene to everybody. It is still unexplained how one could type "blood" as "buses".
I like riding my dog after rain. Rain makes her frisky, so she's faster.
One time, intending to say that he liked to walk his dog while it's raining while riding on his bicycle behind her, DJ ended up saying this instead. To date, nobody has ever let him forget it.
OMG THERE'S A CLIFFFORD TEH BIG RED DOG TOOOOOOTHBRUSH INSDIE!!1!!! LOLOL
This quote has a weird history. Very late one night, DJ said this line completely out of the blue for no apparent reason. At the time, it was largely ignored. Years later, Yumblie set up the !logread remote to randomly read lines from his chatlogs and DJ's long-forgotten quote came up, which confused and amused people so much that they had to find out just what the hell was up with it. Admittedly, people still don't know.
GUAH! I LIKE ROSES!
DECEMBER POLLYWOGS IN BRICKS YESTERDAY?!?!
BKPC 2 was a Banjo fan game made by Yumblie and bhlaab (mostly Yumblie). For some reason, everybody was eagerly awaiting its arrival, some even as much as Banjo-Kazooie's sequel Banjo-Tooie. The YBK capitalized on this with an April Fools version of the game that would degenerate into the characters blurting out wacky phrases until the world eventually exploded.
The awesome game series about one nurse's adventures in the land that knows nothing but fear. Dreamed up during a round of isketch gone horribly wrong, then actually turned into a real game by Yumblie.
Crow, F1 Pole Position, Grapple Beam, etc
Speaking of isketch, we of #banjo-kazooie usually use the Nintendo wordlist, but that can lead to some pretty obscure and hard-to-guess phrases. On the other hand, bad drawing can make even the simplest phrase a complete enigma. To the left are some infamous isketch entries.
WHAT A IT BOOB HOUSE
There's an internet game by the name of Acrophobia, in which players are presented with an acronym and have to come up with what it stands for, after which all players vote on the best one. Once, WAIBH came up, and some random guy who came into a #banjo-kazooie room and wouldn't leave entered in "what a it boob house" as the answer. It won by a landslide.
They let me go home but on the way home my brother poured magma on my big ol' floppy weiner and then he ran off.
There's not much to say here, except that this was the result of one hilarioustastic Mad Libs session. You can read it in its entierity here.
Everyone started to do.
From a different, but equally funny Mad Libs session.
GUM GUM GUM GUM GUM ASTRONAUT OF THE YEAR GUM
One game that was created in #banjo-kazooie was the MS Paint Game, in which someone comes up with a phrase, people try to make a funny MS Paint image based on it, a winner is chosen by the phrasemaker, the winner comes up with a new phrase, and so on. During some of the earliest iterations of the game, some of the phrases could get really weird, such as this particularly memorable example.
Somewhere on the internet is a random Garfield generator, which takes panels from actual Garfield comics and re-arranges them. One of the panels available is Jon and Garfield spinning around with the word "SPIIIIIIN!" and another is just Garfield saying "Happy Cat". There are also bizzare sound effect ones that are hilarious when taken out of context.You can see some of out new Garfields here.
"Here's your tossed salad." "Thanks."
Probably the single-best individual Garfield panel ever.
Redberg, Michigan is a city where everything happens that could possibly happen. Eveyrthing from time travel to decapitations happen in Redberg, Michigan, and if it weren't for Rarenetta, everything Bhlaab writes ever could take place in the town. Redberg, Michigan can morph into whatever you want it to be... it can be an incredible city, or a dity Hooverville. A suburbia, or the scene of a gang war. But one thing's for certain- it doesn't exist. It featured most prominently in The Best God Damn Book Ever, but has lived on.
turn into a dog arf arf arf arf...
bhlaab came up with the idea once of having the chatroom create a weird, nonsensical passaround story with the intent of getting it up to book length and calling it The Best God Damn Book Ever. Though the project eventually disintigrated after some bickering between the various contributors, it did spawn some funny writing. The sample above was created by Jeff and is probably the most long-lived quote from it. You can read the various permutations of The Best God Damn Book Ever here, as well as get a bit of history behind the whole debacle.
One night, when playing Acrophobia, the letter E was coming up with disturbing regularity, to the point where everyone was starting to run out of really good and creative words starting with the letter E. Everyone decided that, for the remainder of that night, the letter E would stand for "EGADS!" A few rounds later, a selection of letters came up in which the letter E appeared three or four times in a row. Hilarity naturally ensued.
a beaten child dies screaming
A particularly memorable phrase that Jeff came up with during one game of Acrophobia, due to being so inappropriate that it became utterly hilarious.
I love to spin on the piano stool
A particularly memorable panel from the short-lived chatroom craze of messing with the odd Five-Card Nancy comic generator. Various archived strips that the chatters came up with can be found here.
cats can pee green??????????????????????? interesting
During one particularly long Acrophobia session, TNG and Jeff kept getting put in the faceoff rounds, both against each other and otherwise. Eventually, by the end, both were completely burned out and just couldn't take it anymore, improvising completely vulgar and bizarre stream-of-consiousness stuff. This was Jeff's contribution to the final round of that faceoff.
COOOOCK CUUUUNT PENIS GOODDAAAAAAMMMNNN igloo
TNG's entry to the afformentioned faceoff round. Not quite as memorable as Jeff's, in my opinion, but people still like to bring it up.
apparently clans = ass holes
Back when Acrophobia used to exist, #bk used to play in the Zone 13 clans-only room. Since there was no way to actually password protect these rooms, random people would inevitably wander in and be told to get out. One woman came into Zone 13 one night, and after being handled roughly by the chatters uttered this delightful phrase. Admittedly it never really caught on as a catchphrase. I'm just including it because I thought it was really hilarious at the time (and it still is!).
the Deviantart game
This is less of a game and more like Russian Roulette for your brain/eyes. Created by TNG out of abject boredom and based on the assumption that Deviantart is comprised of awful, awful people. It works like so:
1. Search for a given word in the Deviantart search engine.
The more innocuous the term, the better.
2. Look in the first five pages for anything that's not work safe or could otherwise be deemed as something someone would/could get off on.
3. If you make it past the first five pages without finding anything, you win. If you don't, you (and all of humanity) lose.
I am a cat sitting next to a cup of coffee
A classic line from one of Yumblie's classic comics that's been referenced several times (along with its partner quote "SNAAAAAAAKE!!!"). bhlaab even made a flash version of this comic once that's been subsequently lost in the sands of time. Quite a few other quotes also originated from these comics, but I'm not about to list them all, so read all the comics here
Bingo! Oh ho ho ho! Yahoo! Wauuuggghhhh!!! Mama mia!!!
Spacecow once made a flash animation playing off of people's desire to have ETS RPG 2 come out. What was claimed to be a pirated version of the game instead turned out to be a very strange flash animation in which a stick figure gets burned to death to the tune of several wavs from Mario Kart 64. It was, of course, completely hilarious. It can still be found here
In the original version of Wind Waker, instead of a fairy, Link would be needlessly assaulted by a stone who gave a much more subdued, laidback "Hey" than Navi. So we kept assaulting the chatroom with the /sound function when someone recorded him saying "hey" from an E3 video. Thankfully the stone's role was much more limited in the final version of the game.
Does it sound like French people in the park?
Spacecow was using Fruityloops one day, only to discover that his song file had been overwritten by the sound of two creepy-sounding French people talking in the park. When opened in Quicktime, the file showed a video of two French nudists riding bicycles. We're still not sure what happened, but whenever someone has a problem, our first suspects are the nude French bicyclists! If you want to examine the file for yourself, it can be found here. Be warned that the file is pretty unstable.
I Love Horses
A UK girls' magazine specializing in horses came up with a really catchy jingle for their publication. Somehow, Spacecow discovered this song and showed it to the chat at large and a craze was born, with everyone professing their love, hatred, or indifference toward horses throughout the years. For more information, check out this page chronicling all of the different things the chat has (and hasn't) created regarding the track.
A bizarre little mp3 featuring some sing-songy laughter and a saxophone. Nobody is really sure where it came from, but it's definitely entered the chat consciousness. Yumblie even made a flash animation based on the song clip.
Canjo once had a poetry teacher in high school who absolutely abhorred ending rhymes in poems. To get back at her, he decided to create a satirical poem full of as many rhymes as he could possibly manage. He then converted it into a sound file using a text-to-speech program, with the results being found here. Various quotes from it still tend to pop up at times.
During the very first Kitten Radio, Canjo submitted a song called "The Amoeba Hop." Jeff hated it so much that he decided to just skip ahead to the next track, which turned out to be the church music from Banjo-Kazooie. The abrupt transition and huge difference between the upbeat, bouncy "Amoeba Hop" and dirgey church music was so hilarious that churching has become a sort of Kitten Radio institution where if Jeff hates a song, it's time to switch to the church music for a second.
Churching's more recent cousin. Spacecow once sent in the Shugo Tokumaru song "Light Chair," which has an unfortunately irritating acoustic guitar part. The song irritated Jeff so badly that he started interrupting the song in various spots with "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas," mostly because Spacecow kept insisting that Jeff play the whole track. Hippoing thus has a sort of "fuck you" connotation to it.